TIME IS ALL I OWN, SO RIGHT HERE ILL WAIT.

THIS IS A STATEMENT THAT I LIVE BY. THE PAST THREE YEARS I HAVE JUGGLED LIFE UNTIL MY ARMS HAVE BECAME NUMB. I HAVE FOUGHT MANY BATTLES AN WON NEXT TO NONE. I HAVE LEARNED THAT PATIENCE IS A VURTUE BUT TO BE HONEST IT CAN SUCK MOST OF THE TIME.

MY LEFT ARM IS STILL NUMB FROM THE HEART ATTACK/STROKE THAT HAPPEND OVER TWO YEARS AGO AND EVERYDAY I WONDER IF IT WILL EVER COME BACK. TO BE HONEST OUT OF ALL THE THINGS THAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH IN MY LIFE THIS IS THE ONE THAT REALLY SETS ME BACK. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY. ITS HARD FOR ME TO ASK FOR HELP. ITS HARD FOR ME TO STAY PATIENT AND HOPE FOR MY ARM TO RETURN TO WHAT IT ONCE WAS.

TIME IS ALL I OWN SO RIGHT HERE ILL WAIT

I FIND THE HOLIDAYS ONE OF THE MOST TRYING TIMES OF THE YEAR.

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE

SOMETIMES I WONDER IF THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH SO HELP ME GOD IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. LET ME EXPLAIN.

I HAVE THIS SENSE ABOUT ME THAT EVERY TIME I FEEL SOMETHING I JUST SAY IT. I GUESS IM GUARDED. IM AFRAID OF THE UNKNOWN SO INSTEAD OF WAITING AND WONDERING I JUST COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY IT. SOMETIMES WITH REGRET AND SOMETIMES WITH RELIEF. I WONDER IF BY DOING THIS, DO I SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT? I WONDER IF I WOULD JUST LET IT HAPPEN, WOULD THE OUTCOME BE DIFFERENT?

LOVE = A SCORE OF ZERO

SO WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF LOVE? WHAT DOES LOVE MEAN TO YOU? IF YOU HAD TO WRITE A DEFFINITION OF LOVE WHAT WOULD IT SOUND LIKE? WOULD IT RENDER YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE WITH A PLAY BY PLAY OF BOY MEETS GIRL, THEY CANNOT LIVE WITH OUT EACH OTHER AND THE REST IS A FAIRYTALE.

MAYBE THE QUESTION THAT WE SHOULD ALL ASK EACH OTHER IS, DO WE EVEN BELIEVE IN LOVE? HOW CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONE IF YOU ARE NOT SURE OF ITS DEFINITION? WHAT IF YOU CAN HAVE A LOVE THAT LASTS FOREVER? WHAT IF LOVE IS VERY OBTAINABLE IN A WORLD THAT TELLS US THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE? WHAT IF OUR WHOLE LIVES WE HAVE HAD THE WRONG MINDSET AND WITH A SIMPLE CHANGE IN HABIT WE COULD CHANGE ALL OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS?

THESE ARE THE MANY QUESTIONS I ASKED MY SELF EVERYDAY FOR A VERY LONG TIME. IS LOVE OBTAINABLE? LONG LASTING NEVER FAILING LOVE.

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION IS YES. IT IS NOT AN EASY YES AND WILL TAKE MUCH WORK AND COMMITMENT BUT NONE THE LESS THE ANSWER IS YES.

ONE GREAT MOMENT CAN ERASE A LIFE TIME OF BAD ONES

TODAY I WATCHED A MOVIE ABOUT A COUPLE WHO WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND WHEN THEY BROKE UP THEY WANTED TO HAVE THE MEMORIES OF EACH OTHER ERASED. AFTER THEY HAD THEIR MEMORIES ERASED THEY ENDED UP MEETING EACH OTHER AGAIN AND FALLING IN LOVE.

THIS GOT ME THINKING. WOULD I WANT ALL OF THE "BAD" MEMORIES IN MY LIFE ERASED? WOULD I WANT TO WAKE UP ONE DAY AND FORGET ABOUT THE ONE THAT I HAVE LOVED FOR SO LONG? WOULD ALL OF THE BAD MEMORIES OUT WEIGH THE GOOD ONES?

I THINK THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE BAD WITH THE GOOD. I THINK THAT NO MATTER HOW MANY BAD THINGS HAPPEN IN YOUR LIFE THAT ONE GREAT MOMENT CAN ERASE ALL OF THE BAD ONES. WITHOUT THE BAD MEMORIES WE HAVE NOTHING TO LEARN FROM. WE WILL BE STUCK IN THE SAME ROTATION UNTIL THE DAY WE DIE.

ALL THE BRICKS IN BROOKLYN

MORE LYRICS FOR THE SHOW

" I WANT YOU TO KNOW
JUST HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE
BUT I CANT DESCRIBE IT ALL
BECAUSE MY WORDS WONT COME OUT RIGHT
THAT
YOU MEAN MORE
THAN LIFE TO ME ME AND
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
HOW I FEEL TONIGHT

THE NIGHT SKIES LAPSE
AND THE SUN WILL RISE AGAIN
MY HEART IT BEATS
ONLY FOR YOU


I NEED YOU
LIKE LUNGS NEED TO BREATHE

BREATHING UNDERWATER

IM GOING TO POST SOME LYRICS FOR THE SONGS I WILL BE SINGING THIS MONTH WHEN I PLAY

"THESE SHEETS THEY SCREAM YOUR NAME
THIS PILLOW IS DRENCHED IN TEARS
I DIED ONE LAST TIME TONIGHT
AND SO DID WE


DEEP BREATH AND HOLD ON
TONIGHT IS ALMOST OVER
DEEP BREATH AND HOLD ON
TONIGHT IS ALMOST OVER

MY HEART IS BIGGER THAN YOUR HEART

SO TONIGHT ON THE WAY HOME I HAD AN AWESOME CONVERSATION ABOUT LOVE AND CHOICE AND CHOOSING ECT. WHILE IN THE CONVERSATION WE TALKED ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF LOVE YOU CAN GIVE AND HOW WE MAKE IT SUCH A GAME. FOR EXAMPLE, "I WISH YOU COULD LOVE ME LIKE I LOVE YOU" OR "I LOVE YOU MORE". WHAT IF WE DIDN'T MEASURE LOVE? WHAT IF WE SAID I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME AS MUCH AS YOU CAN TODAY. IS IT REALLY A COMPETITION? HAVE WE MADE IT THAT? DO WE WANT SOMEONE TO ONLY LOVE US BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TO TOP OUR LAST MOVE. WHAT IF WE DID NOT WEIGH LOVE? I STILL WANT TO BE CHOSEN, I STILL WANT TO BE LOVED BUT SHOULD LOVE BE PLACED ON A SCALE AND THE WINNER GETS A PRIZE?

ARE MY THOUGHT PURE OR ARE THEY JUST THOUGHTS?

I WISH I HAD ALL THE ANSWERS. I WISH THAT I HAD A CRYSTAL BALL. BUT EVEN WHEN I WISH THESE THINGS I TEND TO WONDER IF IT WOULD CHANGE ANYTHING. I TEND TO WONDER IF MY WILL WOULD GET IN THE WAY OF WHAT THE CRYSTAL BALL IS REALLY SAYING. I BET IF I HAD ALL THE ANSWERS I WOULD STILL MANIPULATE THEM TO BE WHAT I WANTED/NEEDED THEM TO BE.

I HAVE REALLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS A LOT AND I CANT HELP BUT THINK THAT MY SELFISH NATURE WOULD DISRUPT EVEN THE PURIST OF THOUGHTS. IN MOST CASES THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WRONG AND RIGHT IS PERCEPTION. (I MEAN ITS WRONG TO KILL SOMEONE BUT IS IT WRONG TO STEAL IF YOU ARE HUNGRY AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO MEANS FOR FOOD?)

SO ALL OF THAT TO BRING ME TO THE THOUGHT THAT EVEN WANTING ALL THE ANSWERS AND HAVING A CRYSTAL BALL MAKES ME EXTREMELY SELFISH. I WOULD MISS ALL OF LIFES SURPRISES AND NEVER LEARN A THING IF I HAD EITHER ONE OF THESE. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE LEARNED FROM OUR MISTAKES? LIFES BIGGEST LESSSIONS COME FROM MISTAKES WE HAVE MADE. WITH ALL THE ANSWERS WE WOULD BE LAME HUMANS WITH A LACK OF LOVE AND RESPECT. SO TODAY I CHALLANGE YOU TO LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES AND NOT REGRETE LIFE IN ITS PUREST FORM.


"IM NOT AFRAID TO MAKE BIG MISTAKES, IM NOT AFRAID TO FALL FLAT ON MY FACE" —— THE ALMOST

MY MY MY, MY MY MY, MY MY

"I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different "kind"
I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines"

PAST, PRESENT OR FUTURE.

I WONDER IF WE COULD GO BACK TO THE OLD DAYS WERE ALL WE NEEDED IN LIFE WAS SOMEONE TO MAKE US SMILE. WHEN LOVE WAS SIMPLE AND OUR OWN STUPIDITY DID NOT DISRUPT SOMETHING GREAT. I WONDER IF FEAR DRIVES US TO A POINT WERE WE DO NOT TRUST OURSELVES. I GUESS IM JUST OLD FASHIONED(WITH TATTOOS OF COURSE)

A TIME FOR CHANGE, A TIME FOR LIFE

I HAD LUNCH WITH A FAMILY FROM CHURCH YESTERDAY AND WHILE I WAS AT THEIR HOME I SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH THE KIDS. I LISTENED TO STORY AFTER STORY AND TO BE HONEST I DONT REMEMBER ANY OF THEM BUT WHAT I DO REMEMBER IS THE JOY I FELT JUST LISTENING. FOR A LONG TIME I HAD NO DESIRE FOR KIDS BUT IN THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS MY DESIRE HAS INCREASED WITH EVERY PASSING DAY. THIS IS A WEIRD FEELING TO BE HONEST BECAUSE FOR SO LONG I HAD ZERO DESIRE. LIFE IS CHANGING AND I FEEL GOOD ABOUT WHERE IT IS GOING

WHO AM I

I AM ONLY A MAN........ I AM ONLY A MAN WHO MAKES MISTAKES......... I AM ONLY A MAN WHO DESIRES LOVE........... I AM ONLY A MAN WHO KNOWS NO TRUTH.......... I AM ONLY A MAN WHO LONGS FOR GREATNESS........ I AM ONLY A MAN WHO LOVES VIDEO GAMES........ I AM ONLY A MAN WHO LOVES TO SNUGGLE...... I AM ONLY A MAN WHO IS LOOKING FOR YOU.......... I AM ONLY A MAN WHO DESIRES PEACE....... I AM ONLY A MAN WHO WANTS A FAMILY......... I AM ONLY A MAN WHO HAS TATTOOS....... I AM ONLY A MAN WHO LIVES IN THE SEMI GHETTO........ I AM ONLY A MAN WHO WISHES HE COULD START OVER...... I AM ONLY A MAN WHO SINGS SAD SONGS........ I AM ONLY A MAN WHO WRITES BLOGS LIKE THIS........... I AM ONLY A MAN

WHAT DO YOU LONG FOR?

TODAY I SAW THE CLASSIC 70 PLUS COUPLE WALKING AROUND THE GROCERY STORE HOLDING HANDS AND IT MADE ME THINK OF THAT DIAMOND COMMERCIAL WITH THE OLDER COUPLE WALKING THROUGH THE PARK. EVERY TIME I SEE THAT COMMERCIAL OR SOMETHING LIKE IT IT MAKES ME WONDER IF OUR GENERATION HAS LOST WHAT THEY HAVE. I THINK OF MY GRANDPARENTS AND HOW THEY HAVE BEEN TOGETHER SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME AND WONDER... DID THEY JUST STUCK IT OUT OR WAS IT LOVE THE WHOLE TIME? WAS IT AN EXPECTATION THAT A MARRIAGE WAS FOREVER? WE ALL KNOW THE VOWS WE ALL KNOW WHATS RIGHT AND WRONG BUT WE ALSO KNOW THAT NOT EVERY MARRIAGE IS FOREVER. BUT THE QUESTION I TEND TO WONDER THE MOST IS........ DO WE GO INTO RELATIONSHIPS HALF HEARTED WITH THE EXPECTATION THAT IT WILL NOT LAST? IS LOVE A LOST ART FORM? IS IT JUST A BY STANDARD TO HELP US MAKE IT FROM DAY TO DAY, A SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE WAY OF LIFE? DO WE REALLY TAKE IT SERIOUSLY?

I LONG FOR THE DAY THAT I AM 70 AND CAN WALK THROUGH THE GROCERY STORE WITH MY WIFE AND HOLD HANDS SETTING THE EXAMPLE FOR THE NEXT ONES IN LINE. I LONG FOR THE MORNING SUN TO HIT MY BROW AND FOR MY NEXT THOUGHT TO BE OF HER. I LONG FOR DINNER AT DINNER TABLES WITH A QUIET SENSE OF HAPPINESS. I LONG FOR DREAMS THAT BECOME A REALITY AND A LIFE THAT IS FILLED WITH JOY.

BEARD

OK SO TONIGHT I DECIDED TO GROW MY BEARD OUT UNTIL THE CAVS WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP. THEY HAVE BEEN IN THE LEAUGE FOR FORTY YEARS AND HAVE NOT WON IT YET. THIS COULD GET INTERESTING.

WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR STRENGTH FROM?

SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO DO THE RIGHT THING EVEN WHEN IT HURTS THE MOST. PAIN TURNS TO STRENGTH AND STRENGTH TURNS TO WILL

I KNOW NO TRUTH I ONLY KNOW WHAT I KNOW

I WONDER IF WE WORRY TO MUCH. I WONDER IF WE ARE REALLY IN CONTROL OF ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR THE MOMENT WE ARE IN. I WONDER IF LOVE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. I WONDER IF FEAR DRIVES US. I WONDER WHAT A FAMILY FEELS LIKE. I WONDER WHAT YOU THINK WHEN I WALK INTO THE ROOM. I WONDER HOW LIFE WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF I WOULD BE BOLDER. I WONDER IF ANYONE REALLY READS THIS THING

I THINK I AM AFRAID OF BEING ALONE

TODAY I HAVE REALIZED THAT I HAVE BEEN LONELY MOST OF MY LIFE. NOW I KNOW THAT IS A BOLD STATEMENT BUT I REALLY THINK THAT IT IS TRUE. HERE IS WHY.

I HAVE A HARD TIME BEING BY MYSELF. IN FACT I WOULD ALMOST CALL IT A FEAR. I HATE IT. I HAVE HELD ON TO FRIENDS, RELATIONSHIPS AND EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS WAY TO LONG JUST SO I WOULD NOT HAVE TO BE ALONE. I WONDER WHY THIS IS? IS IT IN MY DNA? ARE WE MADE UP OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS THAT TELL US TO FIND A COMPANION? WELL NONE THE LESS I HATE IT AND IT IS AN INTERESTING THOUGHT TO SAY THE LEAST.