TODAY I HAVE REALIZED THAT I HAVE BEEN LONELY MOST OF MY LIFE. NOW I KNOW THAT IS A BOLD STATEMENT BUT I REALLY THINK THAT IT IS TRUE. HERE IS WHY.
I HAVE A HARD TIME BEING BY MYSELF. IN FACT I WOULD ALMOST CALL IT A FEAR. I HATE IT. I HAVE HELD ON TO FRIENDS, RELATIONSHIPS AND EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS WAY TO LONG JUST SO I WOULD NOT HAVE TO BE ALONE. I WONDER WHY THIS IS? IS IT IN MY DNA? ARE WE MADE UP OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS THAT TELL US TO FIND A COMPANION? WELL NONE THE LESS I HATE IT AND IT IS AN INTERESTING THOUGHT TO SAY THE LEAST.
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We talked about this tonight in class. How we wrap up our identity in in other things, things we don't intentionaly call idols but that is what they are. Some idols are more blunt and in your face than others, but it is our relationship with our creator that is where it needs to be wrapped up in.
ReplyDeletei think too that your desire not to be alone comes because he didn't create man to walk alone..i believe he desires a companion for you, and one you will be loving and holding til your 70 as you mentioned in your last post...hold on to the dream, i believe she's out there...in the meantime, keep rocking out the fear! he's revealing and that's awesome, continue to press in!
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