I WOULD LIKE TO START THIS BY SAYING... THIS IS NOT NORMAL FOR ME. IM GOING TO TAKE THIS BLOG TO A DEEPER LEVEL THEN I NORMALLY DO. MOST DAYS I USE THIS TO GIVE A WATERED DOWN VERSION OF MY PERSONAL WRITINGS. I TEASER IF YOU WILL, BUT TODAY I FEEL LIKE I NEED THE RELEASE. FTW THIS IS NOT POINTED AT ANYONE OR SPECIFIC LY RELATED TO SOMEONE IT IS A MESSAGE AND A THOUGHT THAT I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT NON STOP FOR MANY MANY YEARS.
NOW THAT THE LEGAL MUM BO JUMBO IS DONE LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.
IM TIRED. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. IM TIRED OF BEING "AGGRESSIVE" IM TIRED OF BEING THE "HUNTER" IF YOU WILL. I FEEL LIKE A PUT IN A TON OF EFFORT, TIME AND RESOURCES ALL TO BE TOSSED ASIDE AT THE FIRST SIGN OF SOMETHING BETTER ALL TO HEAR THAT I WAS THE BETTER CHOICE AFTER THE FACT.
I GET THAT I AM SAFE. I GET THAT I AM NOT NORMAL BUT IM TIRED OF ALWAYS HEARING "YOU ARE TOO NICE TO ME" OR " I DONT DESERVE YOU".
AT WHAT POINT DO I BECOME THE "HUNTED"? OR IS THAT TO MUCH TO ASK FOR?
IM LOOKING FOR REAL HONEST TRUE DESIRE.
MOST DAYS I WANT TO GIVE UP.
I GUESS WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT I CAN DO WITHOUT ALL THE GAMES AND I WISH THAT SOMEONE WOULD CHOOSE ME.
FEAR IS A FUNNY THING. AT WHAT POINT WILL BE NOT BE AFRAID TO TRUST SO I HEARTS CAN DO WHAT THEY WERE CREATED FOR.... LOVE
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